I am supposed to write everyday. The experts both published and unpublished say that you need to write, write, write. Then you should write some more. I do not disagree with them, however I am so short on time that it usually takes me two to three days to write a blog post consisting of 500 – 750 words. It sometimes takes me 10 minutes to complete a single thought. I have a good excuse, I am trying to raise two human beings who at this point in their lives need help to fall asleep, eat, burp — but, I digress.
I have started three compelling short stories. One story was started while I was still pregnant. Two stories were started after the twins were born. I desperately want to finish them. One in particular is just so awesome. I honestly can’t wait to see what happens next. My characters are alive. The story is exciting and flows nicely.
I am at that delicate part in the story where what happens next can be totally brilliant or a big womp womp. I just need a chunk of time to actually outline the different scenarios. Herein lies the issue, that four letter word — T I M E. I am either chasing after time or begging for time to speed up. Time and I are rarely on the same page, yet we have to coexist together. I wish that I could reach into the future and bring closer the time when my twins will sleep through the night or at least wake up only once at night, preferably anytime after 4 a.m. Other things I want to push-off until later like my hair turning gray. The thing about time is that time does not pass the same way for everything in your life.
My stories are stilted, frozen in time, if you will. What happens to those stories? Seriously, what happens to those stories until I find time to finish them? They are real to me, floating around in my head, paused indefinitely until I find the time to press play and complete each tale. While my boys and I go for our daily walks on the trail near my house, I tell them what direction I want to go in and we try to work it out. These brainstorming sessions are decidedly one-sided, especially since the boys are just 5 months old and cannot speak yet. Once I was even able to outline one of these sessions down in my notebook.
However, my two little time stealers are the best creations that God has blessed me and my hubby with. Even though my words that come to life on paper my be frozen for quite some time, I do get to spend time, priceless and precious time with my two little angels. Seeing their toothless smiles literally take my breath away each and every time. I melt in their presence. Time stands still for me when I am with them. Actually, I should not call them time stealers. They are my best unfinished story. I so enjoy calming their little cries, playing with them to gain the screams of unbridled joy and seeing the milestones that they have made already as babies. I look forward to seeing their story develop from a word to a sentence to a paragraph to a chapter and so on.
Am I still a writer, even though my stories are at a stand still? I believe that I am. Currently, my time is just being diverted to develop two-time stealers that are in their introduction phase. Once they move onto the second or third chapter of their lives, I am sure that time will allow me to finally press play and finish the tales that I have currently suspended on a bookshelf in my mind.
(Wanna Be) Hot Mom On The Block 